Before I begin, I would like to make something very clear. Jon and I spent a lot of time discussing this Blog, what it means to us and what it would include. While we decided to leave some of our more intimate moments as private...this is our story, and we want it out in full. It is about being true to ourselves. About the reality of this situation...no matter how beautiful, funny or tragic. The things that you experience in life, no matter what it is, effect who you are and who you become. The events in your life, the people...everything touches you and plays some small role in everything. So while some people may feel that areas of this Blog are too private to share, maybe even inappropriate, we do not agree, but do understand if you would prefer not to share in some parts. Just remember...this is real. This is our story, from our perspective (although I do at many times write quite objectively) and we feel it needs to be told in it's entirety or we would be putting a puzzle out, with critical pieces missing...and when critical parts are missing it can't be understood or appreciated.
Now on we go...
I will not go into a 45 minute back story here, but I will say that Jon's family have been less than kind since fairly soon into our relationship. It has been heartbreaking to watch and has been very stressful at times. It is hard to fathom how anyone could be anything less than beautiful to Jon, as he is The most beautiful, kind man I have ever known. But we cannot choose our families, and some of us just get raw deals. However, at the time that this is being written, Jon has tried, yet again, to reach out to his family for support. And that is where we are now.
When Jon first told his family that we not only found out that I had Cancer, but we were also going to have to terminate our pregnancy...their reaction was appalling. They told Jon, in a nutshell, that they did not believe him...
(Please keep in mind here that Jon is honest to a fault, and the type of person who, if he saw you drop a nickle, would pick it up, run you down and hand it to you. This is NOT a dishonest man and has never done anything to deserve being treated as such. There is also some very strange paranoia that runs rather deep in his family and they have, over the past year, displayed some pretty unbelievable -jaw dropping- behavior, but this was the topper).
...Now, I would love to think it was denial. We tried to make sense of it all. Because having to choke down a cold hard reality like your family saying something like that at a time like this is about too much to bare. Me being who I am, it is hard to say how I would have reacted. I would like to think I could be the bigger person. I would also like to imagine telling them to "fuck-off" and never speaking to them again...and I have imagined everything in between. But to be honest, until your own Mother or Father does these kinds of things to you, you can;t know what you would do. Jon, being who he is, talked to them. He explained (defended) our situation. He answered sickening questions. He dealt with being called, basically a liar and a baby killer. But he tried. And in the very end, he did get a call back from his Dad, apologizing if he came off "wrong", and saying that he does believe him but that it just doesn't make sense etc. (TELL US ABOUT IT, BUDDY).
So now, it had been around a week or so since my diagnosis. They had not contacted Jon to find out how he was. There had been no contact other than the one call from his Dad which was still defensive and cold, but at least he SEEMED like he was trying to understand. We were still grasping at straws, hoping that this situation could possibly mend something, bring everyone together...at the very least (or most) that they could be there for their son and support him on whatever level he needed it. And right now, he needed it badly on every level.
Jon and I were at this point in a very bad financial situation. If we were going to go to Seattle, we were looking at at least a thousand dollars for that whole deal. Even without going...because it was looking more and more like going there and having a Dand E was something we couldn't even fathom doing...Jon had taken time off work with all of this going on and to be with me, we had rent and bills due, medication costing over 300$ a pop until my insurance kicked in for it, having to buy all of these things we weren't use to, including the list of things we would have to buy for while I was on chemo (antibacterial things, and you name it). He also has a car just sitting in Iowa, in perfect condition that could be sent here for less than 700$...which may seem cheap for some but sure isn't for us! Point being, we were in way over our heads financially and needed help like yesterday.
So. Jon calls his Mom and Stepdad. He never asks them for anything. He put himself through school, he has always paid his own way, he just has never had to ask, or needed to ask, for a dime. And his parents have quite a lot of money which they spend a great deal of on his sisters. While they pay for cars, moves, vacations, rent and you name it for his two sisters, Jon asks and accepts no help. But now he had to break down and do the unthinkable and ask for help.
CONT...
